Wednesday Weekly Wisdoms 038 – Grief, Loss and Pain
GRIEF - Description: Grief is a multifaceted response to loss, particularly to the loss of someone or something that has died, to which a bond or affection was formed. Although conventionally focused on the emotional response to loss, it also has physical, cognitive, behavioral, social, cultural, spiritual and philosophical dimensions. Wikipedia
Today [Monday] I am indulging in listening to the unique sounds of composer and multi-talented musician Pablo Arellano. In particular I choose Ocean of Light (Flute) featuring Neoka Falk, on Insight Timer, a wonderful free App for your mobile with various applications for meditation, learning etc. There is also an upgraded version if you have the money to pay for it where you can get access to even more.
For some reason today I am taken back to the seven year old me who, from a gap in a doorway, listened to her Uncle telling her Mother – “Anne, it’s your Dad.” Even at seven I was aware of what that meant and felt my insides turn inside out. Not that we were with Grandad that often but when we were he was a lovely, kind and a fun person to be with. Like many children the Grandparents have more time to give to the children than the parents have – even be it on occasional visits – that’s life. Why then, 54 years later, do un-beckoned tears sneak out of the corner of my eyes and stain a trail down my face. Itchy, I wipe them away with the back of my hand.
The music then evokes something much deeper within me. I am reminded of my first regression meditation which found me in a dry and dusty plain in North America. No, I wasn’t an Indian Chief as many feel associated with but one of, I think, three Indian braves heading back to their camp. It was so real, tangible. I could feel the dryness of the day in my mouth and feel the skins I was wearing next to my skin. The dust of the open windswept plain was aggravating my eyes and nostrils. We slipped into a smoke filled Tepee*and were working with herbs. I remember saying “but a woman wouldn’t be working with herbs here.” The reply was simple, you are a man! Or rather a young brave in training was the feeling there and then. It came, not as a shock, but, almost like a hidden secret being revealed; a comfortable secret.
In my young life, was I grieving for the greatest of all LOVE that exists as and within the Universal Energies where we all come from and return to? Did the death of my Grandfather awake in me the knowing of that ‘love’ and the want to be back there, not here, living yet another difficult experience of what life on earth can be? My life took me, or should I say, I took me on many a winding path, searching for that greater love that I knew existed but was always elusive to me, until now.
Now I can connect through the energies, through my unconditional loving heart that accepts, [most of the time, for I am still human ;-)] that allows and is at peace with who I am and where I am on my journey. To feel the energy of this greater love, physically within, is a feeling of ‘coming home’ of knowing of another way of being once we depart this mortal plain.
Meanwhile, I am mortal. I continue with my learning, creating and sharing and know I will never have all the answers but happy in the knowing that I now have found a greater peace in my life than I have ever had. One I want to enable others to be aware of. As is widely spoken of these days, the journey is not an external one, but, one within. All the answers lie within us should we wish to travel there. Those of us who have been called to do so, do, with an open heart of acceptance, trust and allowing. A knowledge of much greater being than ever we could have imagined in the physical.
Not sure if I have talked about this in my WWW’s before but I am reminded of the human need for an everlasting life and where that has taken many scientists and philosophers over the millennia with reference to the 1960’s of freezing the human body i.e. cryonics**.
The answer of course is simple, it lies within. We do not have an everlasting life in the physical appearance, flesh of who we are today, but in our spirit. The energy that is one with all energies in this greater life, this everlasting life of who we truly are. Meanwhile of course it may be possible that one day the scientists could discover a way to elongate the physical human life beyond the current age limits, anything is possible.
My raison d'etre is one of guiding others to the light. It has not been an easy journey for me for, to begin with, I was the sceptical one, the one who didn’t believe until, I stopped struggling with my human need for control and accepted a different kind of way to live life. A sincerely better way to anything I could have created for myself. For now I am humble enough to accept that I am but one blade of grass in an ocean of green, allowing myself to share my knowledge with others who are ready to hear.
I now know grief to be a heavy human weight that we do not have to feel should we chose to love ourselves enough not to take on that suffering. To move out of the ego and into a greater love that exists beyond the physical. Yes we can mourn the physical loss, but to know in your heart that there is so much more, helps to sooth the damage, the loss caused to your physical being, should you choose to accept this. We are of course blessed with freewill and that will make of our lives whatever we choose/accept to make it.
I leave you with a heartfelt hug for I know there are times when I have needed to feel the embrace of another while feeling so terribly alone. Open your heart to receive, my love, to your eternal being.
Namaste, Patricia x
*tepee (also teepee, tipi) NOUN: A portable conical tent made of skins, cloth, or canvas on a frame of poles, used by North American Indians of the Plains and Great Lakes regions. https://www.lexico.com/en/definition/tepee
Fractal Image by ladyeleanor from Pixabay
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